


Everybody's Chill and Nobody's Straight

by ShadowLink720



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: ALSO if you know what song sakura plays at the start is then holy heck you're great, Other, and maybe a little of oversharing, anyway also have some weird headcanons, i mean don't worry if you can't, i think about the possibility of camilla just becoming like another sibling to sakura a lot ok, i'm just... obsessed with the game it's from, idk what i'm doiiiiinnnngggg, it sorta ramps up in speed at the end because i don't know social things, it's mainly sakura and camilla, like... one line, or if i wrote something wrong, tell me if it's too much information or smth, well niles is only there for a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 06:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13630959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowLink720/pseuds/ShadowLink720
Summary: I wanted to write some little thing that involved the bath house. It still annoys me that you can’t sit in it with anyone who’s chill seeing you there, ahahah;;… also something from the perspective of Sakura, because I love writing Sakura. Fight me.





	Everybody's Chill and Nobody's Straight

Sakura wiped her face in her hands. She hadn’t been able to sleep for long these past few days and she couldn’t tell why. This tiredness would lead her to be less tolerant of stimuli, this much she knew. She didn’t want to leave the comfort and peace of her room just yet. Letting out a sigh, she subconsciously reached for her bloom festal rod and began twirling it in her hands. The movement was slow and clumsy, but she didn’t care.

Lying down on her back, she followed the rod’s shide strips as they fell back and forth as she waved it around almost rhythmically. Her ears perked as she tried to focus on the gentle sound of the strips as they hit into each other, rather than the muffled voices of some people outside. Were the room isolated from the rest of the world, the only sound would be from the swaying of the rod - the sound Sakura could control.

Sighing again, Sakura sat back up, bored of waving the bloom festal. She was still unwilling to leave just yet, though, and shuffled over to her shamisen and bachi, both of which were lying on the floor. She never played it seriously enough to warrant being skilled, but she enjoyed playing simple melodies. Sakura’s fingers hovered over the strings for a moment while she decided what to play, before they gently began thrumming with the bachi firmly in hand. It was the melody of one of the many songs Azura had taught her.

Her playing felt clumsy, since the song was best played with two people, but it didn’t matter - no one else was listening. Once she was a bit more confident in remembering the notes, Sakura heard herself begin to sing quietly. The lyrics weren’t anything she understood, but that in a way made them easier to remember. She could simply mimic the sounds Azura had made when she was demonstrating. Azura herself had never really explained what the lyrics themselves meant, but she did explain that it was to do with a girl’s salvation from a cruel village, who the people of which had condemned and shunned her for something she had no control over.

As she went on with the words, Sakura raised her voice a bit to enunciate the sounds more accurately. She stopped abruptly. There were still people outside she could hear. Oh, Gods, what if they were able to hear her? She promptly concluded that she had milled about her room for long enough, and left without another moment of procrastination.

—————

‘The gremlin is finally out of her pit, I see.’ Hinoka had made herself visible before she began speaking.

Sakura felt her lips curl into a little smile. 'Yeah, I’m alive.’ she said, unsure if her response was too slow.

Hinoka grinned nonetheless, 'So… how long have you been up?’

'A while. I got a little distracted in my room, is all.’ Hinoka didn’t need to know it was less 'distracted’ and more 'reluctant to leave’. Sakura did her best to stifle a yawn, hoping Hinoka wouldn’t notice it.

’… You seem pretty tired, ya know. Have you been getting enough sleep?’ Shit, Hinoka noticed it.

Well, there was no point in hiding the whole truth anymore, so she might as well say something. Sakura just shrugged, 'It’s just been taking a while for me to fall asleep recently.’ She hoped that answer would be sufficient.

'Hmm. Ok.’ Thank the Gods she didn’t need to elaborate. Sakura had no idea how she could explain since she didn’t know why she was having trouble in the first place. 'Oh! And before I forget again; a bunch of people are going to the bath house later, do you wanna join us?’

Sakura hesitated. 'How many people?’ She asked.

'Ah, uh, maybe 'a bunch’ wasn’t the best word for it.’ Hinoka rubbed her neck, she looked like she was thinking what she could use instead. 'Well, there isn’t many of us. There’s me, Leo, Takumi is tbc, Niles, Camilla, Beruka and Owain are gonna show up, and also Hinata, Oboro aaaand… maybe Xander? He’s to be confirmed, too, I think.’

Sakura fell silent as she thought.

'You don’t have to if you’re not feeling up for it, and you could leave at any time. I… should have told you sooner to give you more time to decide, sorry.’ Hinoka added.

'Mmm. I’ll think about it… Just don’t wait up for me.’ Sakura didn’t want to waste more of Hinoka’s time, so she went with her usual answer. Who knows, maybe she actually would think about it for a change.

'Cool. Well, I uhh, I should let you get on with your day, so see ya there, maybe!’ Grinning, Hinoka made finger guns for a step or two before she actually turned around and looked where she was going.

Sakura laughed; people actually did that, huh? She must have picked it up from Leo or Owain.  
Still, she wondered, maybe she should give it a try?

—————

Sakura began to have second thoughts once she was outside the bath house entrance. She convinced herself that if anyone was near the front that they’d be able to see her loitering and might ask questions or jump to conclusions, so she tried to stay out of sight as she haphazardly paced around while wringing her hands together and thinking it over once again. It’s definitely not like she had done so several times throughout the day already, changing her mind every so often.

She stopped suddenly, completely still, before taking a deep and sharp exhale. ’… Fuck it, let’s go.’ She was already late to join anyway, so she might as well get the initial awkwardness of having everyone cast glances in her direction once she entered the room itself over with as soon as possible.

—————

Sakura slid the door open. Surprisingly, only a few of the people already present made quick glances towards the noise. After a moment of hesitation, Sakura quickly stepped into the bath next to Hinoka, keeping her eyes fixed on the ground the whole time.

‘You don’t need to worry about it, you know, we’re all chill here.’ The owner of the voice was Leo, who was on the other side of Hinoka.

Before Sakura could think of a response, Niles chirped from somewhere on Sakura’s other side. ‘And nobody’s straight! That makes it even better!’

Sakura chuckled softly, and suppressed the urge to ask if he even knew anyone who was, because… she felt that’d be weird, and unnecessary.

She could only bring herself to make a noise in response and decided to just listen to the others’ conversations for a bit.

Sakura’s eye twitched as she heard the door slide open and close again, she could see her brother’s long, silvery hair from the corner of her eye so she didn’t need to look up.

He seemed… reluctant to go anywhere at first, but he then promptly located his retainers and slid in next to them.

‘You seem more on edge than usual, Takumi.’ Leo tilted his head a little, hoping for a response.

Takumi glanced in Leo’s direction before quickly looking away again. It didn’t seem like he knew where to look, or something about Leo was catching him off guard…?

Hinoka leaned over and muttered something to Leo, and he seemed to understand whatever she had said. ‘Is it this? I can cover it if it makes you uncomfortable, you know.’ Sakura caught the movement of Leo making a slight gesture to his chest from the corner of her vision.

Takumi quickly shook his head. ‘No, no, it’s not that it’s uncomfortable at all. I just… I just wasn’t expecting it, I guess.’

Leo laughed ‘I see. Well, guess that means I’m doing something right, huh?’

Takumi simply grunted. He was still… apprehensive? Was that the right word? Maybe. Sakura could never quite judge people’s emotions properly, even if she had known them literally all of her life.

—————

Some unknown length of time passed of Sakura simply letting her mind wander. Unfortunately, it was usually reminding her of all of the things she could be doing instead, things that felt more productive to her.

‘Hey, do you mind if I hang out around here for a bit?’

Sakura flinched visibly as she was brought back to reality.

‘Goodness, I didn’t mean to startle you. Sorry about that, dear.’

Sakura looked to the figure on her left. It was Camilla, the eldest princess of Nohr. She also had an incredibly imposing aura and she was, well… tall. A little like Hinoka in that regard, but Sakura had never really spoken to her much due to her intimidating presence. Though Sakura knew that Camilla was not the one at fault. Rather it was her fault for being reluctant to talk to new people.

‘… Mm.’ The sound came from Sakura’s mouth much quieter than she had hoped.

‘… I don’t have to, if you don’t want me to. It’s just that there’s only so long you can sit so close to Owain and Niles as they talk, you know?’ Camilla casted a quick glance over to Leo’s retainers. They seemed to be having a fun conversation.

Or at least it would seem that way, if Owain didn’t talk loud enough for everyone to hear as if they were right next to him. Sakura had been told that was just his normal speaking volume, though, so nothing could be done about that.

‘It’s ok.’ Sakura responded, a little quicker this time. ‘I understand.’ She returned her gaze to the easiness of the floor. Thankfully, Camilla moved her gaze away from her as well.

Silence fell between them for a few moments.

‘Sorry. I hope you weren’t looking for a conversation that wasn’t f…’ Oh Gods, not now of all times. ‘That wasn’t fu… wasn’t… so awkward.’ Sakura felt her face flush hot with embarrassment. It wasn’t so bad when she stumbled over her words with people she knew, but talking to Camilla just felt so… stressful. Like if Sakura made one mistake then that’s all the Nohrian princess would know her by.

Camilla let out a little laugh. Great, now she’s going to think Sakura is some kind of joke.

Wait, no. It didn’t feel like Camilla was laughing at her.

‘Don’t be embarrassed, dear. I know all about your stutter. And about your autism, too.’ Camilla said, her gaze soft and patient.

Unfortunately, Sakura simply felt more embarrassed. ‘You… do?’ Was it really that obvious? Apparently so.

Camilla simply smiled. ‘Hmhmm. Your sister made sure I was well informed so that I don’t make you uncomfortable.’

Sakura felt herself slide further into the water. ‘She didn’t, uh… did she… she didn’t tell ev… eve… everyone else, did she?’

Camilla paused for a second to think. ‘I’m not sure. I don’t think so. I mean, I was the one who asked her about it.’

Sakura slid further still under the water. ‘Um… why?’

Camilla sighed. ‘… It’s because you always seem so on edge when I’m around. I was really starting to worry that it was something I was doing.’

Oh. Great. Her awkwardness made other people feel awkward. Just wonderful.

Sakura clenched her eyelids shut for a second, before sitting up straight again. She let out a sharp exhale, and looked at Camilla properly again. ‘It’s nothing to do with you, please don’t worry. I just f… find… talking to new people to be… stressful… Particularly when they command such a… presence.’ Oh Gods, please don’t let her be offended by that.

Camilla simply blinked. ‘I see.’ She said flatly. … Was she offended? Her body language was so damn hard to read. Sakura noticed Camilla relax her shoulders, probably in an attempt to be less intimidating.

Sakura really didn’t want to have Camilla change her demeanor just so she didn’t feel like she was the one making it awkward, so Sakura shook her head. ‘No, I’ll get ov… get used to it. It’s just something I need to learn how to deal with. Don’t change how you act for my benefit.’ She was determined to do it herself.

Camilla looked a little… confused? Surprised? Who knew. Sakura didn’t, at any rate.

Sakura noticed Camilla shrug her shoulders a little to herself, before simply relaxing herself again. Wait, was that actually nothing to do with trying to make Sakura feel less stressed? Oh Gods, did she just assume that this was just about her? Her racing thoughts were not helping in the least.

Sakura instinctively let her face fall into her hands. Before she remembered that Camilla was still there, and she took them away again, trying to make it look like she was just wiping her face.

Camilla had been silent for a while. It unintentionally made Sakura anxious about if she was worrying too much.

Finally, she said something again. ‘Well.’ It sounded like she was going to change the subject. Good. ‘I don’t know about you, but these baths are great for my back.’

Sakura perked up. ‘You have back pains? How fre… often? Do you… know what causes them?’ She stopped herself abruptly, she was trying to talk too quickly, and it showed in the shakiness of her voice. She felt her face heat up as blood rushed to her cheeks in embarrassment again. ‘Uhh, nevermind about the last question. Or… well, I don’t want to assume-’

Camilla raised a finger and it hovered near Sakura’s mouth, signalling to her that she didn’t need to go on. ‘Don’t worry about it.’ She said, still with the patient calmness that reminded her of Ryoma when he had recently been meditating… A little bit. Camilla continued. ‘I do get back pains. Not too often, mind. And they’re simply because of my chest, is all.’ She spoke softly as she answered the rapid and haphazard questions Sakura had asked without thinking.

Sakura started to feel a little jealous that Camilla could speak so confidently without seemingly having to think about what she was saying much. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts again. ‘Is there… anything I can do that might be able to help? I might know some remedies that can ease pains…’ She made a point to slow down her words, in the hopes that she wouldn’t embarrass herself again.

Camilla simply shook her head. ‘Don’t you worry about it. It’s nothing I can’t handle, and it’s nothing serious.’ She paused. ‘Tell me about you; do you get any back pains at all?’

Sakura shook her head before she thought about it. ‘Actually… well, not from my chest. But I do get a sore lower back around… well… my time of the month, as it were… Er, that wasn’t too much information, was it?’ It felt strange to be talking about something like this so openly, it was usually something she’d only talk about with Hinoka, or maybe Hana at a stretch. Camilla shook her head, ‘No, it’s not too much information. I’ve heard some people do. It’s not too bad, I hope?’

‘It… well, it v… varies.’

Camilla nodded in understanding.

Despite how many people were around her, Sakura didn’t feel so awkward since she had gotten the words out, and that Camilla understood what she was referring to right away. It was… nice, to be able to talk about it with someone. … It also helped that Camilla was able to make out what Sakura was saying without her needing to speak too loud.

Another silence fell between them.

Sakura shifted a little. Before deciding to start a topic of conversation herself. ‘So…’ she began, realising that she should have thought about how she would say it before… well, saying it. ‘So… I’ve… heard that… you’re… asexual?’ Only in passing… once. But she wanted to know for certain.

Camilla paused for a moment, then nodded. ‘Well, you’ve heard right. Why do you ask?’

Sakura hesitated. ‘I… I just wanted to know. Because… I didn’t want to make assumptions.’ She stopped, before she quickly added ‘And I… I think I am too, so… I don’t know.’

Camilla smiled. This one wasn’t soft, or patient, it was… genuine? In a way? Not that the other ones weren’t, it was just… different. Actually, she looked surprised, too. ‘Well, there’s something I wasn’t expecting.’ She said. ‘What makes you think you are?’ she sounded less calm now.

Sakura shrugged preemptively. ‘I don’t know. I just… feel like I probably am. I mean, from what I’ve heard about it, at least.’

Camilla’s smile widened a little. ‘Well, there is a lot to asexuality. It’s an incredibly broad spectrum, actually. Though, I assume you know that, huh?’

Sakura nodded.

‘Well.’ Camilla continued. ‘If there’s anything about it you want to talk about, I’m more than happy to oblige. Or anything else, even. But only if you want to.’

Sakura shrugged her shoulders again. ‘I guess. It… it is a little easier to talk to you now.’ Camilla seemed somewhat relieved about that.

—————

The evening went on, and Sakura and Camilla continued to make small conversations. Eventually, people began to retire for the night.

Sakura wasn’t sure if she was able to sleep better that night because of the bath, or the fact that she now had someone new to confide in who had a fairly different view of the world than what she had, being Nohrian. She quickly decided that it didn’t matter, and was simply grateful for the easier sleep.


End file.
